Courtney T. Ball

Pastor Bucky and the Stinkers

Concept artwork for their first album, “Ode to Odor”

Not long ago, Pastor Bucky was asked to be on the Youth Services Advisory Board for his county’s Department of Public Health. In his first meeting, the topic of discussion was the importance of teaching good hygiene to young kids. It was a pretty dull conversation at first, but then Molly Turner, one of the teachers in the Head Start program, started talking about all the weird or gross things kids do.

“Sometimes it’s just silly stuff. I mean, the other day it was 85 degrees outside, and this kid comes in wearing wool socks. I asked him if his feet were hot, but he just got this defiant look on his face and said, ‘No, I can wear these socks if I want to!’

‘Okay,’ I said. It’s your feet. If you want ’em to be hot and sweaty, that’s up to you.”

For some reason, that story lodged itself in Pastor Bucky’s brain. After the meeting, as he often does with things that get stuck in his head, he began to put his thoughts to a tune. Before long, Pastor Bucky had some opening verses and a chorus to a new song called, “Hot Sweaty Feet”. This got him to thinking. What if we wrote songs to teach good hygiene to kids?

Once Pastor Bucky gets excited about an idea, it’s hard to slow him down. He decided to enlist the help of his church youth band. They were thrilled with the idea, and soon a new band, Pastor Bucky and the Stinkers, was formed. Currently the Stinkers are working on their first album, “Ode to Odor”.

Song titles include:

  • Hot, Sweaty Feet
  • Boogers Aren’t for Sharing
  • You Can Fart, But Not By Me
  • Wipe, Don’t Scratch
  • In Your Ear
  • Do the Math, Take a Bath
  • There’s Something On Your Face, Ace
  • Double Dippin’ Dingbat

The other day Pastor Bucky gave me a copy of the lyrics to “Hot, Sweaty Feet”. I’ve pasted them in below for your enjoyment.

Hot, Sweaty Feet

When I was a young boy
my daddy said to me,
“Don’t put those big, thick socks on.
You’ll get hot, sweaty feet.”

But I was stubborn;
I didn’t listen to my dad.
When he told me what to do
it just made me mad.

So I put those big, thick socks on,
and I wore them to school.
But I’ll tell you what:
my feet weren’t so cool.

Hot, sweaty feet!
They’re not such a treat.
They don’t smell so sweet!
Those hot, sweaty feet.

(Whoa-oh-oh!)

Hot, sweaty feet!
They’re not such a treat.
They don’t smell so sweet!
Those hot, sweaty feet.

I got home that afternoon
my socks were soaking wet,
and when I threw off my shoes,
the whole room smelled like sweat.

I began to worry.
I didn’t know what to think.
My feet were all shriveled up
and, boy, did they stink!

My dad had tried to warn me
told me all about toe jam
funky flesh-eating fungus,
but I thought it was a scam!

Hot, sweaty feet!
They’re not such a treat.
They don’t smell so sweet!
Those hot, sweaty feet.

(Sing with me, now!)

Hot, sweaty feet!
They’re not such a treat.
They don’t smell so sweet!
Those hot, sweaty feet.

Now, maybe you’ve got cold feet
and you like to keep them hot,
but when the winter’s over
I think you’d rather not.

When it turns to springtime
and the flowers start to bloom
take those big, thick socks off
and leave them in your room.

If you’re stubborn like me
and where them even when it’s warm
Well, then, just remember
You have been warned.

(Everybody!)

Hot, sweaty feet!
They’re not such a treat.
They don’t smell so sweet!
Those hot, sweaty feet.

(One more time!)

Hot, sweaty feet!
They’re not such a treat.
They don’t smell so sweet!
Those hot, sweaty feet.

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Courtney Ball

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